“I just don’t want to do that thing…”

There’s a moment in adulthood when something shifts.

The life you assumed you would live - the one that seemed obvious for so long - suddenly doesn’t feel quite right anymore.

Not wrong. Just… not yours.

If you’ve ever questioned the life you thought you were supposed to live, this conversation might feel familiar.

This episode of Notes from The Not There Yet Podcast begins with Jordan Stachini, founder of Manchester-based marketing agency co&co, reflecting on how little of her life has followed the plan she once imagined.

Because as Jordan puts it:

“Complete accidental business owner - it was never ever meant to be the plan.”

Jordan grew up in a big Italian family, one of four siblings in a tight-knit household where family loyalty, strong opinions and lively debate were simply part of everyday life. Today she leads a growing marketing agency specialising in branding, organic social media and experiential marketing.

But the story behind the business - and the person who built it - is far more layered than the typical founder narrative.

What unfolded in this conversation wasn’t just a discussion about business, confidence or leadership.

It was about something many of us experience at some point in life:

The courage to admit that the future you once imagined might not actually be the one you want.

And the bravery it takes to choose differently.

The business that wasn’t meant to exist

Before co&co became a six-year-old marketing agency with a growing team, Jordan thought she was building something much smaller.

Her plan was simple: consulting three days a week and building a balanced life. As she explained:

“The plan was literally just to be a consultant… three days a week and just having a really nice work life balance.”

Instead, she registered the business on 24 February 2020. Exactly one month later, the UK went into lockdown.

“And then on the 24th of March 2020… we all went into lockdown for two weeks. And that ended up being two years.”

Like many stories born during that strange period of time, what followed wasn’t planned. But it was intentional.

Jordan built the agency carefully and deliberately, without chasing the kind of rapid growth many founders feel pressured into. Someone once gave her a piece of advice that stayed with her:

“You can either grow with stability or speed, but you can’t have both.”

Jordan chose stability. Because building a business eventually stops being just about you.

“Being responsible now for other people’s rent, mortgages, holidays… what they want to do with their lives isn’t lost on me.”

Today co&co is a small, tight-knit team - something Jordan is very deliberate about.

“I don’t want the business to ever get any bigger than 10 people, and that includes me.”

That decision surprises people. But Jordan isn’t trying to build the biggest agency. She’s trying to build the right one.

Learning to say no

One of the most interesting parts of Jordan’s approach to business is her willingness to say no.

Even in the early days - when many founders feel pressure to accept every opportunity - Jordan stayed selective.

“Even at the very start… if something came my way, I was always good at saying ‘no, that’s not right’ or ‘I’m not the right person.’”

That mindset might have slowed growth. But it protected something more important: alignment.

“Could the business be bigger than it is now if I had said yes to more things? Maybe. But would I have loved everything we did? No.”

There’s a lesson in that which goes far beyond business. Not every opportunity is meant for you. Sometimes clarity looks like restraint.

The version of success we don’t talk about

Jordan describes herself as incredibly routine-driven. Early mornings. Gym sessions before sunrise. Discipline. Structure.

But what struck me most wasn’t her work ethic - impressive as it is. It was her self-awareness.

At one point she realised something important about leadership. Her personal habits - early morning and late night emails, constantly jumping at every client request - were shaping expectations for everyone around her.

“What I learned is that what that is doing is setting an expectation for clients that I will do that.”

So she changed her boundaries.

“I do not reply to any work email… unless it’s between the hours of half eight and half four.”

It’s a small example, but it says a lot about the way Jordan approaches leadership. Because running a business isn’t just about how you work. It’s about the culture you create.

When the bigger decisions arrive

But the heart of this conversation wasn’t really about business. It was about the moments in life when you realise something deeper has shifted.

Jordan spoke openly about a long-term relationship she had been in since her mid-twenties. For years she assumed the path ahead was obvious: marriage, children and a future that followed the familiar pattern many people expect.

But as she approached 30, something started to feel different.

“As I got closer to 30… that feeling of ‘I’m not ready’ was quickly becoming ‘this isn’t I’m not ready. This is I don’t want to do this.’”

That realisation wasn’t easy. Because sometimes knowing what you want means acknowledging that someone you love wants something different.

“We don’t want the same life anymore.”

Jordan described the period that followed as one where several parts of her life were breaking down at once.

Work.
Relationship.
Health.

“There was a few things happening in my life at that time… I wasn’t happy in my job… I wasn’t happy in the relationship… and then there was myself.”

Her mum gave her simple advice: Fix one thing.

Jordan started with her health. And something unexpected happened.

“What I realised is I loved the way it was making me feel… mentally, oh my God.”

Then came the realisation that changed everything.

“I was like, oh, f***. This is where my happiness lives.”

That clarity eventually led to one of the hardest conversations of her life — the moment she knew she had to leave the relationship.

(We go much deeper into this part of Jordan’s story in the full podcast episode.)

Burnout, therapy and rebuilding

The aftermath wasn’t neat. Breakups rarely are. Jordan described a year where everything felt heavy - including the business she had built.

Eventually she hit burnout.

“Burnout is a feeling of… you do not know how you’re going to survive it. It is crippling.”

That moment pushed her to start therapy, something she credits with helping her understand the different versions of herself she had been through.

“There’s the version of me who started co&co… the version of me that lost five stone… and then there was a version of me being in a relationship.”

The hardest part, she said, was forgiving that version of herself. But eventually, she did.

“That clock I don’t have”

One of the most powerful parts of our conversation came when we spoke about Jordan’s decision to be child-free. It’s a choice that still provokes strong reactions. And Jordan hears the same responses again and again.

“Most people just don’t believe me.”

Or they assume she’ll change her mind.

“‘You’ll feel different when it’s yours.’”

But for Jordan, the truth is simple.

“That clock I don’t have.”

And when she explains her decision, it isn’t dramatic. It’s just honest.

“It’s no deeper than that. It’s just… I don’t want to do that thing.”

Instead, she’s focused on building a life that genuinely reflects what matters to her.

“There are other things I want more than that.”

Gender, masculinity and the International Women’s Day conversation

We also spoke about gender, equality and the way conversations around International Women’s Day are often framed.

Jordan’s perspective is clear: she’s never seen gender as a limitation.

“It’s never been a thing in my head of ‘I’m a woman, therefore I can’t do this or I can’t do that.’”

At the same time, she believes conversations about feminism sometimes miss a key point — that men aren’t the opposition.

“I think what feminism does is it sees men as an enemy… and they’re not. They’re just the other half of the species living on the planet.”

For Jordan, the goal isn’t competing narratives between men and women. It’s raising better humans.

“We need to create decent human beings on both sides of the divide that can come together and be units and partners.”

Because ultimately, she says, women are far less limited than society often suggests.

“There is so much opportunity in being a woman. You are not limited.”

What she wants younger women to know

Towards the end of the episode, Jordan spoke about something she often shares with the younger women who work in her team. Advice that goes far beyond careers.

“Don’t see your career as an option.”

Instead, she encourages them to build independence and give themselves choices. Because choice is powerful.

“When I was able to… I was able to leave my partner because I was financially independent.”

And then she said something that I’ve now heard multiple times over - any it’s stuck:

“By having your own financial independence… you can make every decision in your life based on what you want to do and not what you have to do.”

Still becoming

By the end of our conversation, Jordan reflected on where she is now.

“I’m probably the happiest version of myself that I’ve ever been.”

But like everyone who joins this podcast, she’s still figuring things out too.

When I asked what her version of “not there yet” looks like right now, she said something beautifully simple.

“I think I’m working on finishing my puzzle.”

The business might be built.
The career might be established.

But the personal life - the pieces that make up the rest of the picture - are still coming together.

And maybe that’s the real story of adulthood. Not having everything figured out. Just continuing to build the life that fits you.

Piece by piece.

Listen to the full conversation

This blog only scratches the surface of Jordan’s story.

In the full episode of Notes from The Not There Yet Podcast, Jordan shares much more about:

• Building a marketing agency from scratch
• Leadership and responsibility in business
• Navigating major life decisions
• Burnout, therapy and rebuilding
• Choosing to live child-free
• and the courage it takes to design a life that actually fits

🎧 Listen to the full episode of Notes from The Not There Yet Project with Jordan Stachini.

Where to find Jordan Stachini

Jordan Stachini
Founder — co&co Marketing Agency

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jordanstachini/
Website: https://wearecoandco.com