Healing in Motion: What Running My First Half Marathon Really Taught Me

Two weeks ago, I ran my first half marathon - but what happened at the finish line had very little to do with running.

I broke down in my mum's arms. Fully, uncontrollably, unexpectedly.

And in that moment, I realised the tears weren’t about 13.1 miles.
They were about the 21 years that came before them.

• Childhood comfort eating
• Being bullied for my size
• Learning to shrink to be accepted
• Years of dysmorphia and “good” vs “bad” food
• The long, messy process of unlearning it
• 21 years of body shame

Running didn’t just test my endurance - it cracked open the stories I’ve carried in my body since childhood.

This blog is the shorter version.
The full, raw story lives in this week’s podcast episode:

🎧 Listen here.

Growing Up With a Body You’re Taught to Battle

Food was comfort.
Then it was control.
Then it became something to fear.

At 14, I was in Slimming World. By 15, I’d lost weight and suddenly people treated me differently.

And that shift - that moment of “approval” - became the blueprint I carried for years:

Be smaller = be worthy.

It’s a belief so many millennial women still carry, often without realising.

How Running Forced Me to Face Myself

When I trained for the half marathon, I had no choice but to eat properly again.
Not restrict.
Not punish.
Not outsmart hunger.

Just fuel my body.

And that’s when the old thoughts reappeared:
If I eat more, I’ll gain weight.
If I gain weight, I’ll lose value.

Running didn’t trigger them — it revealed them.

But crossing that finish line showed me something bigger than fear:

My body isn’t the enemy.
My worth was never measured in pounds.
And the little girl I used to be deserved so much more kindness.

A Message for Anyone Healing Their Relationship With Food, Weight or Worth

You’re not behind.
You’re not broken.
You’re not the comments you heard growing up.

Healing is slow.
Running is slow.
Becoming yourself again is slow.

But step by step, mile by mile, thought by thought - it changes you.

And if my story resonates, I think this episode will mean something to you too.

🎧 Listen to the full episode here